By The Numbers: Year of the Dong

While Gus can't get enough of watching all the biggest dongs each week, we've decided to take a bit of a deeper approach. Even without Bryce Harper hitting anymore this season, there's been plenty of dongs to go around, but what does it all mean in the grand scheme of things? Come check out this simple breakdown of some of the most likely EHCC records to be broken by the end of the 2017 regular season. 

By The Numbers: Year of the Dong

By: Max Powers, Baseball Tri-Weekly

2016 was a record setting year. As the first season to see a shortened regular season by one week and the first season to see an expanded line up, it was bound to set itself apart and knock out some records. Three separate offensive statistics got new records set last year (R, HR, and RBI). 2017 is shaping up to break the mold again. While weekly records in all three of those categories got make-overs, the annual records all look to be within reach as well. Here's a complete breakdown of the annual statistical monuments which will (or won't) be broken by the end of Week 21. 

RUNS

Current record set by Dublin Snake Chasers in 2016 - 870

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Las Vegas Doggs (756)

     2.) Weymouth Shaddupu (752)

     3.) Quebec City Piglets (722)

     4.) Tijuana Hispanics (720)

The Doggs have a slight edge over Eastern Division rival Shaddupu at the moment, but really either team has a good shot at breaking the 870 mark set just the previous season. Each team is averaging about 40 runs per week and each would only need to keep with their current pace to set their names in the record books. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 60% chance

HOMERUNS

Current record set by Rio de Janeiro Cristos in 2016 - 268

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Weymouth Shaddupu (261)

     2.) Tokyo Omyoujis (211)

     3.) Las Vegas Doggs (208)

     4.) Rakeville Rockets (207)

Weymouth is looking to shatter the yearly dong marker. With 3 weeks still to go, the Poo have separated themselves from the rest of the field and even without Bryce Harper's help, will have no issues setting a new record, probably during their Week 19 match up. The only question is how far out of reach can they set the record for future generations to strive for?

Likelihood of record being broken: 100% chance

RBI

Current record set by Rio de Janeiro Cristos in 2016 - 845

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Weymouth Shaddupu (760)

     2.) Las Vegas Doggs (707)

     3.) Santo Domingo All-Star Factory (706)

     4.) Tokyo Omyoujis (662)

With great dongs comes great RBI opportunities, and Shaddypoo has not disappointed. Sitting 53 RBI's above the next closest team, Weymouth has set their sites on another mark in the books. Averaging just over 42 RBI each week, Weymouth is set to break the record in Week 20. Pending a complete meltdown, record keepers might as well remove Rio de Janeiro completely from the offensive record books.

Likelihood of record being broken: 97% chance

STOLEN BASES

Current record set by Winston-Salem Green Monsters in 2007 - 173

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Las Vegas Doggs (114)

     2.) Quebec City Piglets (106)

     3.) Santo Domingo All-Star Factory (101)

     4.) Tijuana Hispanics (93)

Speed has been lacking int he EHCC for the past decade. As much as these four teams have separated themselves from the rest of the field in 2017, none of them have a shot at the long standing record set by the legendary Green Monsters. Even with speedsters Billy hamilton (QC) or Dee Gordon (LV) going nuts on the base paths in the final weeks, no team will probably even break the 140 mark this season. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 0% chance

BATTING AVERAGE

Current record set by Weymouth Shaddupu in 2006 - .302

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Weymouth Shaddupu (.284)

     2.) Tokyo Omyoujis (.280)

     3.) San Fernando Valley Jets (.270)

     4.) Tijuana Hispanics (.270)

The idea a team could go a whole season hitting over .300 is so outlandish at this point it's comical. It almost seems more likely an individual player will hit a legitimate .400 in a season before an EHCC team will hit above .300. Weymouth's record is safe once again, even from themselves. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 0% chance

WINS

Current record set by Rio de Janeiro Cristos in 2012 - 142

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Quebec City Piglets (101)

     2.) Tijuana Hispanics (89)

     3.) Tokyo Omyoujis (81)

     4.) Rio de Janeiro Cristos (81)

If only Quebec City had made all those trades for those starting pitchers earlier in the season, we'd like their odds or setting a new Wins mark that much more. As it stands, they need to put up 14 wins in each of the next 3 weeks just to break the record. Unless they start streaming an extra 4 starters each week, it's not looking likely. Rio may lose two other of their annual records, but this one looks to be safe for now. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 3% chance

SAVES

Current record set by Quebec City Piglets in 2011 - 143

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) San Juan Guerites (108)

     2.) Tijuana Hispanics (102)

     3.) Las Vegas Doggs (89)

     4.) Santo Domingo All-Star Factory (86)

Tijuana looked to have a hold on the saves category (see what i did there?) for most of the season, until the bottom finally fell out and all their terrible closers started losing their jobs. In the meantime Las Vegas has played catch up and San Juan has held steady, currently leading the league. The Guerites still need 36 more to break Quebec City's 6 year record, which would mean their 4 all-star closers would need to put up 3 saves a week - each. It's not out of this world crazy, but I wouldn't but any actual money on it. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 5% chance

STRIKEOUTS

Current record set by Quebec City Piglets in 2008 - 1830

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Quebec City Piglets (1530)

     2.) Rakeville Rockets (1295)

     3.) Weymouth Shaddupu (1284)

     4.) Bridgewater Weasels (1238)

This one might be one to watch, and possibly could come down to the wire. I threw up the top 4 just as a curtesy, but really this is a one team race. The Piglets just put up a 100+ K week and if they can replicate that the final 3 weeks of the season, their finally erase the...uhh, Piglets from the record books (d'oh).

Likelihood of record being broken: 35% chance

ERA

Current record set by Dublin Snake Chasers in 2013 - 3.28

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Las Vegas Doggs (3.46)

     2.) Weymouth Shaddupu (3.71)

     3.) Dublin Snake Chasers (3.83)

     4.) Rio de janeiro Cristos (3.93)

The Doggs, by virtue of an all-relief pitching squad, have set themselves apart in the ERA field this season. They may seem far off from the 2013 record, but with the limited innings they've put up this season (671) Las Vegas actually has an outside shot of knocking down their ERA below the 3.28 mark set by Dublin 4 years ago. The next best ERA belongs to Weymouth, and in comparison they've logged over 1200 IP. Ultimately, if the Doggs can limit themselves to 15 IP/week and not allow more than 3 earned runs per week the record can be theirs. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 41% chance

WHIP

Current record set by Dublin Snake Chasers in 2013 - 1.15

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Weymouth Shaddupu (1.19)

     2.) Las Vegas Doggs (1.20)

     3.) Dublin Snake Chasers (1.23)

     4.) Santo Domingo All-Star Factory / Tijuana Hispanics (1.27)

Though this stat seems to be the closest of the bunch, the edge still goes to the second best team simply due to innings pitched factor. Las Vegas (671 IP) can more easily adjust their overall WHIP with three good weeks than Weymouth (1214.1 IP), Dublin (1079.2 IP), Santo Domingo (1169.1 IP), or Tijuana (1365 IP) could ever hope to. The other top 5 teams will need to make big strides if they have any chance of making a dent in their team WHIP, but the Doggs need to simply need to keep with the aforementioned 45 IP limit over the course of the last 3 weeks and keep their BB+H under 19 and they could be writing themselves into the record books twice in one season. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 51% chance

Highest Team Winning %

Current record set by Quebec City Piglets in 2003 - .734

Top 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) Tijuana Hispanics (.583)

     2.) Weymouth Shaddupu (.581)

     3.) Quebec City Piglets (.572)

     4.) Las Vegas Doggs (.542)

Mathematically this record is out of reach. Thje highest winning % any team could end the season with this year is .643, and that's still if Tijuana finds a way to win 10-0 against Quebec City, Dublin, and Rio de Janeiro to end the season. This is the longest running record for a reason and it will take nothing short of a miracle to take it down, especially with the competitive nature of the EHCC only increasing from year to year. 

Likelihood of record being broken: 0% chance

Lowest Team Winning %

Current record set by Arlington Warriors in 2009 - .284

'Top' 4 teams in 2017 (through Week 18)

     1.) San Fernando Valley Jets (.308)

     2.) Rakeville Rockets (.450)

     3.) Dublin Snake Chasers (.472)

     4.) Bridgewater Weasels (.472)

As much as the Highest Winning Percentage is out of reach, you'd think the Lowest Winning percentage would be equally unattainable, right. In walk the Jets. If the Jets lose out in the final 3 weeks they would end the season with a .264 winning percentage, but really all they need is to lose 25 of their final 30 possible points (which is totally within their reach as they face off against Las Vegas, Weymouth, and Rakeville to end the season). The Doggs beat the Jets 10-0 earlier in the season, back when they had starting pitching. Weymouth and Rakeville beat the Jets 6-4 and 5-3 respectively, so in essense if all three eastern division rivals built upon their earlier victories, we could see a new record holder and we could finally erase Arlington completely from the record books? Oh wait, what? They won a championship just two years prior to setting this horrendous record? In their first season in the league? Go Jets! (Can't believe I just typed that).

Likelihood of record being broken: 25% chance

Read more!

Gus Peck's Dongs of the Week - Week 18

Let me start this week by saying those damn Millennials and their online commenting.  A poor bastard that supports Las Vegas cried about how no one from LV made the list last week. Newsflash crybaby millennial puss bag:  This list is for the 'best of the best' dongs.  I don't care how many dongs your players hit, its about the dong quality, not quantity.

With that being said, lets take a look at the best dongs of week 18.

Read more »

Read more!

Gus Peck's Dongs of the Week - Week 17

Launch Angle (Lawnch Angal) noun - The angle at which Dongs are born  

Dong (Dawng) noun - When a ball is hit so hard over the fence your dick moves

Now that we got those two definitions out of the way, it is time to break down the best dongs of week 17.

Read more »

Read more!

2017 EHCC Home Run Derby ExtravaDONGza! Semi-Live Blog

Welcome one and all to the semi-live blogging of the 2017 EHCC Home Run Derby Extravadongza! brought to you by Joe's Costume Emporium and Daycare. "That's His Specialty". This year's festivities come to you from beautiful Rakeville, home of the 11th place, but yet still not worst team in the East, Rockets. Click below to read along and don't forget to check back every day for updates. 

2017 EHCC Home Run Derby ExtravaDONGza! Semi-Live Blog
By: Max Powers

First off, let's meet this year's dong hitters....

Representing the Eastern Division we have three players hailing from the Bridgewater Weasels. Please put your hands together for Aaron Judge (21), Justin Smoak (18), and Logan Morrison (17). The rookie Judge leads the league with 21 home runs heading into Week 11, and it's not even close. Smoak is currently is a three-way tie for second place in the league with 18 and, along with teammate Morrison, was simply hitting home runs for fun in his back yard before joining the Weasels in mid May. Rounding out the East we have returning champion invitee Adam Duvall (15) and Joey Votto (18) coming out from Las Vegas to join the fun, along with San Fernando Valley's Mike Moustakas (17). Moustakas and Morrison beat out Mark Reynolds and Kris Davis from San Juan for the honor in a tie-breaking footrace through the mountains of Appalachia. It was very boring. Unrepresented this year we have the host team Rakeville, even with the dong master himself Eric Thames watching from the stands, Weymouth, who would have expected to at least see Mike Trout at the plate if not for his first career DL stint, and San Juan, who's players simply didn't hit enough doubles to qualify.

In the other corner, hailing from the Western Division, we have three dong masters from the north, Scott Schebler (18), George Springer (17), and Jay Bruce (16) represent the blue and pink Piglets. Schebler and Bruce were both free agents earlier in the season and now find themselves making a name for themselves on the league smallest stage. Good for them. Rounding out the western representation we go down to Rio de Janeiro where we find Ryan Zimmerman (17) and Yonder Alonso (16) swinging away on behalf of the Cristos. The robots sent in hard hitting Joey Gallo (17) from Tokyo to fill out the 6-man roster, who seems to only hits home runs, when he hits at all that is. Of Gallo's 41 hits, 28 of them were extra base hits. They did come in a total of 202 at bats, and did accompany 286 strikeouts, but who's counting? Should work perfect in this setting, right? Alonso and Bruce beat out Tijuana's Justin Bour for the final spots in an epic three-way rock-paper-scissor match up where Bour tried to make up his own moves with something called "firestorm", and was disqualified. Sad. Looking on with no interest at all in the event will be Santo Domingo, who tied to send Ryon Healy but spelled his name wrong on the application, Dublin, who decided to just cut everyone when they found out no one qualified for the event, and division leading Tijuana, who's GM typically organizes the extravaganza and has been missing for the past 6 weeks. Tragic really.


Rules are simple, top 6 players with most home runs from each division headed into week 11 qualify. The defending HR derby champ is invited back to take the 6th spot of their division team if they aren't in the top 6. Tie breakers come down to Triples, doubles, total hits...and then a bunch of other things that never come into play.

Round 1 included Monday-Wednesday. Top 6 players advance. Stats carry over to Round 2, which takes place Thursday-Friday. Top 3 players move on along with their stats to The final round which tales place Saturday and Sunday. A Champion is crowned after Sunday's conclusion.

Enjoy.

--------

Monday, June 12 (Round 1, Day 1)

And here we are. Beautiful Rakeville. The home of the Rockets. Unfortunately the "best offense in the league" failed to be represented in their own stadium. The dong-master himself, Eric Thames, is watching the festivities from the owners suite as GM Jack Reed has requested the slugger schmooze the crowd of potential trade partners while they were all in the same room.

The first day of the derby is typically a lack luster one, but this year got off to a hot start. To the surprise of no one, rookie sensation Aaron Judge blasted a home run to start things off, ending his day with 2 hits. Defending champion Adam Duvall also chalked up two hits, but only got as far as second base once. Joey Gallo got a hit that didn't result in a home run and the crowd shrieked in disbelief. The hit was a triple however, and could be the difference in any future tie breaker if it comes to that - which it almost always does in the first round. The only other dong belonged to Jay Bruce, who technically has the lead as he added a double to go along with it. Schebler and Votto collected two measly singles each, while Springer might as well joined the rest of the player who decided to boycott the event as he couldn't muster up any hits. Justin Smoak, Logan Morrison, Mike Moustakas, Ryan Zimmerman, and Yonder Alonso were found at a nearby basketball court playing the Rakeville Crows starting five in a pickup basketball game as a crowd of onlookers exchanged dollar bets. Maybe Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love were missing due to another engagement on the west coast, so they made due with Ricky Rubio and Brooke Lopez. The Crows still lost. Things really just aren't going Rakeville's way lately.

SCORE AFTER DAY 1

Jay Bruce (QC) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 H
Aaron Judge (BRW) - 1 HR, 2 H
Joey Gallo (TKO) - 1 3B, 1 H
Adam Duvall (LV) - 2 H, 1 2B
Joey Votto (LV) - 2 H
Scott Schebler (QC) - 2H
George Springer (QC) - 0 H
Ryan Zimmerman (RIO) - No Show
<Justin Smoak (BRW) - No Show
Yonder Alonso (RIO) - No Show
Mike Moustakas (SFV) - No Show
Logan Morrison (BRW) - No Show

Tuesday, June 13 (Round 1, Day 2)

This surely is the year of the dong. After a very lack luster performance in 2016, the Home Run Derby has really taken a step forward in 2017. First off, the concessions are just so much better. Joe's Hot Dongs and Sausages has brought the good stuff this year in Rakeville, which luckily, is his specialty. You can get coleslaw, you can get sauerkraut, you can get ketchup, you can get onions, you can get pickles...and yes, pickles are his specialty. Anything you want on your Hot Dong or Sausage, Joe can get it for you. It's quite amazing.

Enough of about the delicious local Rakeville eatery options, let's get back to actual dong hitting. Tonight we finally got to see the five no shows from Monday actually show us what they were made of. With only two days to play catch up to those who cared enough to play on Day 1, Justin Smoak, and Yonder Alonso dug themselves a bit deeper with a less than powerful showing, collecting three singles between the two of them to start things off. Next up was Mike Moustakas, who singled on his first pitch and hit the warning track on the next pitch, earning him a double in the process. Logan Morrison set the bar by actually finding the seats with his second pitch of the night and surprisingly chose to run the bases. Not sure he knew where he was or that it was a home run derby. Maybe everyone just felt bad or they saw the smile on his face and wanted to let him have that moment - either way, he made it all the way around and just walked back to the dugout, passing on any of his other pitches of his appearance.

Last up of the forgotten five, Ryan Zimmerman, swung at the first pitch he saw and crushed it dead center to put himself in contention. His second pitch was sent back as a laser down the line, but only credited as a single. Clearly upset at the call and not getting extra bases, Zimmerman took his frustration out on the giant head mascot of Toby Hall, who was getting ready to run the bases alongside Ian Snell-mascot, Pedro Martinez-mascot, and Ellis Burks-mascot (an event that has become a fan favorite in Rakeville since the beginning of the season - little known fact, the interns who run the races are actually racing and they have the own standings posted in the back room. The winner gets to move up to bat boy and never has to see the other three interns again. It's going to be a fight to the finish. So far Gary is in the lead with 5 wins. Good for Gary.) After the race, Ryan Zimmerman has calmed down and allowed to take another pitch, which he immediately drills over the left field wall for his second home run of the night, putting him the lead.

As exciting as Zimmerman's time at the plate was, Scott Schebler, Joey Votto, and Adam Duvall's was equally unimpressive. The threesome collected a total of 4 singles between them. Duvall looked especially pathetic at the plate after having to be woken up in the dugout when his turn came around. Those late nights in Rakeville will get to you apparently. Joey Gallo followed suit in a very much Joey Gallo way. Little secret from someone that was there, Joey actually had 4 clean hits during his at bats but was so upset none of them hit the hard he argued with the score keepers and convinced them not to count any of them at all. So, the stat book officially has him down for 0 hits on the day. "If it's not a dong I don't want it," Gallo was heard yelling repeatedly. George Springer found his way to dong-land, as his only hit of the week left the yard, catapulting him from the bottom of the standings to the top 6. What a difference one swing can make.

Aaron Judge came to the plate next, one of only two players having hit a dinger the night before. Judge had hit 4 home runs in the past 3 games so everyone was rightfully expecting him to keep pace with Zimmerman's outburst from earlier in the evening. Man, did he disappoint. He received 4 pitches and literally let everyone go by. It was strange. He didn't even swing. I'm pretty sure he was mesmerized by the provocative dance routine Jedd Gyorko was doing at second base, which really should have been stopped by the officials but man, that man can do everything. It was enthralling. The crowd loved it. You can't really blame Aaron for staring, but it sure seemed like a waste of his time at the plate. Jay Bruce obviously was still thinking about it during his plate appearance, because even though he choose to swing at every pitch, he simply missed each time. Swinging early, swinging late - and these are 60 mph pitches mind you. It was questionable to say the least. Quebec City brass should be concerned.

SCORE AFTER DAY 2

Ryan Zimmerman (RIO) - 2 HR, 3 H
Jay Bruce (QC) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 H
Aaron Judge (BRW) - 1 HR, 2 H
Logan Morrison (BRW) - 1 HR, 2 H
George Springer (QC) - 1 HR, 1 H
Joey Gallo (TKO) - 1 3B, 1 H
Adam Duvall (LV) - 1 2B, 2 H
Mike Moustakas (SFV) - 1 2B, 2 H
Scott Schebler (QC) - 5 H
Joey Votto (LV) - 3 H
Justin Smoak (BRW) - 2 H
Yonder Alonso (RIO) - 1 H


Wednesday, June 14 (Round 1, Day 3)

The day started with Elon Musk singing the national anthem. It was beautiful. Not a dry eye in the house. It might have been his angelic voice or it could have been from the fumes of the rockets that were set off at the start of the song. Malfunction on the part of the Rakeville pyrotechnical team, as they obviously were supposed to go off later in the song, but Musk was a pro. Simply a pro, Never missed a beat. Pro.

It started off pretty apparent that Ryan Zimmerman felt like he had the first round all tied up so when he declined to step up to the plate but insisted his pitching coach throw three down the middle it was off, but not surprising. Logan Morrison took the opportunity coming up next to cement himself in the next round with another dong over the left field wall. Jay Bruce wracked up two more singles, which can only help in potential tie breakers, but he's also safe moving onto the next round. Joey Gallo put himself on the board tonight. That dong, along with his triple puts him solidly into the next round. After hitting a home run himself, Joey Votto currently sits int hr 6th spot, just behind Mike Moustakas who along with his double on Tuesday, got one to leave the stadium tonight.

Aaron Judge, Joey Gallo, and George Springer are still playing and if either Springer or Judge can hit a jack they'll knock out Votto from advancing. If they stay quiet they'll lose the tie breaker and move to the stands. 

Adam Duvall, Scott Schebler, and Justin Smoak all failed to hit any dongs in the first round, while Yonder Alonso only was able to make contact just once for a soft hit single down the left field line. Most players playing the hot corner probably would have made the play on him, but this is all for charity right? [edit: It's not]

So we sit and wait to see what Gallo, Springer, and Judge can do with the rest of their nights....

OK, well Springer and Gallo finished up and while Gallo locked his spot with his triple tie-breaker, Springer failed to hit one out giving him just one on the week. He did crack two hits on the day, one that almost cleared the wall, but hit a seagull on the way down, keeping it in the park. The ground rules in Rakeville clearly state that water fowl hit by fly balls result in a double if the bird lives, and a triple if they die as a result of being struck. This bird took a licking but kept on flying. The double was enough to put Springer in a virtual tie for the 5th spot with Mike Moustakas, knocking Votto out of the top 6.

Judge still has a few pitches left. Any extra base hit will get him to the next round, and home run puts him back in the overall lead. Failure to do either sends him packing back to Bridgewater.

ROBBED. Judge hits a laser to left field that would have easily resulted in extra bases, but was robbed by Eric Young Jr on a diving catch. Judge possibly will get one more pitch. Stay tuned.....

And that's the end of that. Aaron Judge failed to get one out of the park so he's left off the list for the semi-final round, scheduled to start Thursday.

After the conclusion of Round 1, here's your standings....

Logan Morrison (BRW) - 2 HR, 3 H, 5 RBI
Ryan Zimmerman (RIO) - 2 HR, 3 H, 3 RBI
Joey Gallo (TKO) - 1 HR, 1 3B, 2 H
Jay Bruce (QC) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 5 H
George Springer (QC) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 H, 1 BB, 3 RBI
Mike Moustakas (SFV) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 H, 1 BB, 2 RBI

Joey Votto (LV) - 1 HR, 4 H
Aaron Judge (BRW) - 1 HR, 3 H, 2 BB, 2 RBI
Adam Duvall (LV) - 0 HR, 2 2B, 3 H
Scott Schebler (QC) - 0 HR, 5 H
Justin Smoak (BRW) - 0 HR, 2 H
Yonder Alonso (RIO) - 0 HR, 1 H


Thursday, June 15 (Round 2, Day 1) - Semi-Final 6

Well the first day of the semi-final round was a snooze-fest, simply put. With two of the final six deciding to stay home, apparently thinking the whole thing was over after Wednesday, the fans only got to enjoy four players making appearances to the plate - just to watch them dribble a few singles down the line.

With Joey Gallo and George Springer taking the day off, it brought leader Logan Morrison up to the plate first. Morrison started off strong, giving everyone faith it was going to be a fun day. His firsat pitch was a blast that landed just short of the centerfield wall, bounced over, and landed in the Reed family swimming pool. He racked up another hit (single) on the night, but ultimatly fell short of hitting one out.

Thus would be the theme of the evening. Ryan Zimmerman dribbled a single down the third base line, and Jay Bruce's only hit was for two bases. Mike Moustakas made contact twice, but never made it past first base.

After a lack luster day, here's your updated standings.

Logan Morrison (BRW) - 2 HR, 1 2B, 5 H, 1 BB, 6 RBI
Ryan Zimmerman (RIO) - 2 HR, 4 H, 1 BB, 3 RBI 
Joey Gallo (TKO) -1 HR, 1 3B, 2 H, 2 BB, 2 RBI
Jay Bruce (QC) - 1 HR, 2 2B, 6 H, 1 BB, 3 RBI
George Springer (QC) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 H, 1 BB, 3 RBI
Mike Moustakas (SFV) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 5 H, 2 BB, 4 RBI

Friday, June 16 (Round 2, Day 2) - Semi-Final 6

Man, this semi-live blogging stuff is tough. Hopefulyl I can get this all in before the start of the final round...oh, it's started already? Dangit.

Either way, the final day of the semi-finals had a whole lot more action that its boring predecessor. First off all, all six players actually showed up, so that's already an improvement.

As is customary, the player lowest in the standings got to go first. Mike Moustakas. You may remember Mike from the first round who barely squeaked by thanks to some tie breakers over Aaron Judge and Joey Votto. Well, he hasn't done too much to separate himself since and today was no different. Mike hit a single up the middle to start off his plate appearance, but let the next two pitches sail past without even taking the bat off his shoulders. Mike will be headed back to San Fernando on the first flight out of Rakeville.

George Springer, not to be out shined, failed to collect any hits, and rather walked twice (how does one actually walk during a home run derby anyway? The rule makes didn't really explain that one too clearly. But, that's what shows up on the stat sheet).

The other Piglet still in the mix, Jay Bruce, came up next. Bruce sat 4th in the standings, and needed a homer to put himself in contention. His first pitch looked to seal the deal, but fell just short of the wall and was ruled a double. Now, doubles are nice and all in real life, but they're nothing more than a possible tie-breaker here - and with Joey Gallo's triple still in play, all the doubles in the world won't matter. Bruce let the next pitch go by, and belted his 3rd pitch dead center. It cleared the first deck and landed in the corporate suites. Pretty sure Elon Musk caught it bare handed. Is there anything this guy can't do?

Joey Gallo comes up next and swings ferociously at the first pitch. Not sure why, but the replay clearly shows Gallo had his eyes closed the entire time so of course, he racked up a K. The next pitch he had the crazy idea to keep his eyes open and of course made contact. And if you haven't figured this out yet, if Gallo makes contact, it's probably a home run. Sure enough, the ball left the yard in a hurry, knocking Gallo to the top of the leaderboard (thanks to that triple he got on Day 1).

Ryan Zimmerman, who started his day in second place, now found himself the first man out thanks to those nifty tie breaker rules. An extra base hit would keep him in contention and a home run would all but solidify him moving to the finals. No pressure. Seriously, no pressure, this doesn't mean anything to anyone. Regardless, Zimmerman folded under the weight of the entire Brazilian population putting all their faith in him to represent the Cristo fanbase. He did make contact twice, but nothing more than singles through the hole. What a huge disappointment.

Logan Morrison closed out the night, already knowing he was clear to move on to the final round. He wracked up a double of his own for good measure - you never know if it'll come in handy - but failed to separate himself from the rest of the finals crowd with another dong.

After the end of the Semi-Final round, here's your updated standings...

Joey Gallo (TKO) - 2 HR, 1 3B, 3 H, 3 BB, 3 RBI
Jay Bruce (QC) - 2 HR, 2 2B, 7 H, 1 BB, 4 RBI
Logan Morrison (BRW) - 2 HR, 1 2B, 5 H, 2 BB, 6 RBI
Ryan Zimmerman (RIO) - 2 HR, 5 H, 1 BB, 4 RBI
Mike Moustakas (SFV) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 6 H, 2 BB, 4 RBI 
George Springer (QC) - 1 HR, 1 2B, 3 H, 3 BB, 3 RBI



Saturday, June 17 (Round 3, Day 1) - Final 3

So, I woke up after it was all over and luckily there was a reason I fell asleep. Between the three finalist, who each have 2 home runs to their names, they collected just 3 hits and 1 walk. Glad I missed it.

Here's you updated standings going into the final day, which consists of a bunch of tie breaker stats...

Joey Gallo (TKO) - 2 HR, 1 3B, 5 H, 4 BB, 6 RBI
Jay Bruce (QC) - 2 HR, 2 2B, 10 H, 1 BB, 4 RBI
Logan Morrison (BRW) - 2 HR, 1 2B, 5 H, 3 BB, 5 RBI

Sunday, June 18 (Round 3, Day 2) - Final 3

And it all comes down to this. The final day. All three finalists have 2 RBI, with a single triple making all the difference thus far. Will that come into play? It seems whoever hits a home run will take this crown, which has come down to the wire. Wouldn't want it any other way.

First up. Logan Morrison. Morrison has led most of this competition with the exception of the past two days, but currently sits third of the final three. With his first pitch he decides to take a patient approach and let it whiz by him. The approach paid off with the second pitch, which he drilled to deep right field for his third home run. That could be it folks. That might be all it takes. By Mr. Morrison wasn't finished. He had Bridgewater GM Nastra Diggus throw one more pitch (yes, Morrision had asked Diggus to pitch his final day, who agreed to do so on the contingency that Morrison play well enough in July to increase his trade value), which he smashed out of the park for good measure. That doubled his home run total for the week and puts him clearly in the overall lead.

Next up, Jay Bruce from Quebec City. The current Piglet, who,  like Morrison, started the year as an unrestricted free agent, signed with Las Vegas and was then traded north, didn't seem too phased by the showing Morrison put on. He swung at the first pitch thrown, sadly, just simply missed. It was embarrassing really. I mean, these pitches are coming in at 50-60 MPH. Right down the middle. Freshmen walk on players would be hitting these things. Next pitch....same thing. Geez. bruce is starting to feel the heat. So he takes a step out of the box, collects his thoughts, steps back in somehow, on the next set of pitches...walks. He looks really proud of him self too. The crowd is really confused. He takes his base, stands on 1st, and refuses to leave. Just all around strange.

While Bruce sits on first base (what a weird guy), Joey Gallo steps in. He needs 2 home runs to win. Let's see what he can do. We all know, for the most part, Gallo is a three true outcome player. If he hits it, it's probably leaving the yard. If he swings and doesn't make contact obviously he's striking out. If he decides not to swing he'll gladly take the walk. The second two options simply aren't options in this environment. On his first pitch Gallo gladly swings away and fouls one back. Fouls are strikeouts in this home run derby (oh, did we not go over that in the rules...well they are).

Second pitch comes barreling in and Gallo keeps the bat strictly on his shoulders, resulting in a backward K. The crowd is not impressed. Third pitch results in a line out to Jay Bruce. Yes, Jay Bruce standing on first base catches a liner down the right field line with his bare hands. The umps call Gallo out as a result. The rules of his HR derby are just insane.

Gallo might get one more at bat or more if he can muster up some extra innings...check back to see the results.

And he did get one more pitch. This was it. The judges said if he could hit a home run here they'd give him one more pitch to try to tie it. All the pressure in the world was mounting for this one glorious moment. A moment that in the grand scheme of things may actually mean nothing at all, but for some, mostly the EHCC upper management that profits off the spectacle and the Rakeville ownership that sees a profit share of the event, it means everything. As the robotic arm of the Tokyo pitching coach started to let go of the ball, a bright beam of light came down from the night sky and landed right in front of home plate. Gallo was amazed by the light and couldn't look away. The ball sailed past him and the plate, for another backward K. The light immediately disappeared from sight. No one could explain it, but the leading theory was that it was Joe's Spotlight and Superhero Signal Emporium testing out the newest model, which they claim will be their speciality. Joey Gallo can attest to the power of the spotlight, that's for sure. Gallo ended the final round with literally no stats collected. No hits, no walks, no RBI, and certainly no home runs.

And after all that, we have our winner. For the second straight year, a player that started the season as a free agent comes away with the EHCC Home Run Derby crown. We give you this year's champion, Logan Morrison. (Who saw that coming huh?)

Final standings from the final round.

Logan Morrisson (BRW) - 4 HR, 1 2B, 5 H, 3 BB, 6 RBI
Joey Gallo (TKO) - 2 HR, 1 3B, 5 H, 4 BB, 5 RBI
Jay Bruce (QC) - 2 HR, 2 2B, 10 H, 2 2B, 4 RBI


Max Powers is a writer for the Reno Weekly Rag and Baseball Tri-Weekly. He drinks his coffee black even when he gets it from Dunkin' Donuts. Even he knows that's disgusting. 

Read more!

EHCC Trehde Rumors: Eastern Division

With all the focus on the "slumping" Western division, the East side of the EHCC is the one that only sports three teams at or above .500 going into Week 10 (West has 5). The picture in the East has become a bit more clear for some as to what the next few weeks hold, and the rumors swirling enforce what everyone is already thinking. Click below for a team-by-team breakdown of all the rumors collected from around the Eastern Division, and other insights as to the direction of each franchise.

EHCC Trehde Rumors: Eastern Division
By: Jim Fierkes, EHCCTrehdeRumors.com


Weymouth Shaddupu

Let's start with the juggernaut shaddy poo. The islanders have had one of the strongest starts in EHCC history, but all it takes is that one loss to get the fans clamoring for reinforcements. Don't expect any big moves from Yukon this trade deadline. While the team waits for Ryan Braun and Mike Trout to come back the Poo would be wise to simply bring up Cody Bellinger to get a taste of winning at the highest level. Fans would really love to see Aaron Judge out there instead, but alas, he's stuck down the street in Bridgewater doing his best Daniel Murphy impression. If they're going to make any move, Bellinger is the guy to dangle and the best way to do it is put him in the field and show him off to his upcoming opponent list (SD, RIO, QC), who could all potentially become sellers by the deadline. But seeing Aaron Judge perform at the level has this year may be enough to give GM Yukon Cornelius second thoughts about trading their next best outfield prospect. When asked if Weymouth had anything in the works, Cornelius stated simply "I've got nothing". (First reported by Kai Yack of the Islander Issues)

San Fernando Valley Jets

From the best to the worst - San Fernando is not in an enviable position by any standards. They have the least desirably assets of any potential seller, the one asset that is expected to be of any value (2018 1st round MaDP) is simply off the table, and there's simply no end in sight. The Jets were one of the teams interested in trading for Kyle Schwarber, but with Las Vegas now expecting to be sellers at the deadline (more on them later), this is not looking like a likely match. The three assets that should end up being on the move by time the deadline roles around should be Mike Moustakas (3B), Marcell Ozuna (OF), and Corey Knebel (RP). With no clear, long term answer for losing Adrian Beltre, Dublin would be the logical landing spot for Moustakas, though word has it plenty of teams could use an upgrade at the hot corner. Ozuna has been reportedly unhappy in San Fernando ever since moving there. "No one cares, not even the fans. I'm a winner, simple as that. I need to be somewhere that wants winners," Ozuna told a group of Tijuana reporters after a recent road trip where the Jets lost 2-8. Ozuna is playing at the start of his "prime" and would net the biggest return, but Corey Knebel may be the first Jet to take off for a new destination. Talks have already been had with Rakeville, Las Vegas, and Tijuana regarding the young power bullpen arm. Tijuana makes the most sense here, and they should end up being the strongest "buyer" at the deadline of the three, willing to give up what San Fernando needs. (First reported by Holly Woodsign of the San Fernando Valley High School Pearl Post)

Rakeville Rockets

The newest info out of Rakeville is that they still want to win. After winning 3 of their last 4 match ups they have put away the fire sale signs and they're considering buying - of all things though they're in the market for bullpen help. The Rockets are one of two teams that have yet to win the Saves category all season (Quebec City is the other), and they have racked up a total of 2 whole saves all season - both thanks to their Tony Watson trade(s) earlier this season. GM Jack Reed has a reputation of being stingy and unwilling to answer requests for information unless tempted with Bagel Bites, but the rumors are swirling pretty strong around the Rockets listening to offers on Eric Thames (OF) and Jose Abreau (1B). However, even with all the assumptions of a veteran purge in Rakeville, teams aren't getting their hopes up as they might have in the past regarding star 1B Miguel Cabrera. "Miggy is gunna die wearing maroon and gold, but the dong master Thames is as good as gone in Rakeville," one rival GM assumed. (First reported by Aviator McShadesless of the Rakeville Times)

Las Vegas Doggs

The most active team in the league this season (43 moves made leads the league as of midway through Week 10) has already made three trades before the end of May., and shows no signs of stopping. They've made no secret of their desire to trade away veteran starter Jon Lester and disable listed starter Drew Smyly. They've also got a lot of old junk on the bench that could be considered desirable at the deadline to a team looking for an impact bat - but no one is biting. Look for guys like Kinsler (2B), McCutchen (OF), and Carpenter (1B) to end up being waiver trade dumps after the deadline - something the Doggs are typically the ones to jump on as they did with Justin Turner last season. The defending champs biggest hole is easily their minor league system, and trading away their two best protected arms to Quebec City didn't help any. With Villar and Matt Carpenter already publicly announcing they both refuse to play the hot corner next year, the Doggs main target looks to be 3B prospect Rafeal Devers, San Juan's prized piece. Las Vegas has been aggressive so far, but reports are saying San Juan will be standing pat on Devers until the end of July, though trading him is not out of the question if they think it'll help them catch the poo. (First reported by Max Powers of Baseball Tri-Weekly)

San Juan Guertites

Speaking of San Juan, the Guertites have been going through some clubhouse pains as of late, stemming from their recent struggles (losing 3 of their last 4). The loss of Chapman (RP), Syndergaard (SP), and Bumgarner (SP) have really taken its toll on the rest of the San Juan pitching staff and it's showing on the field. Between weeks 4 and 9, the San Juan pitching staff has only won 8 out of a possible 20 pitching categories, failing to take Wins or Strikeouts in any of those match ups. In that same time the Guertites have gone 1-3-1, but all the while their bats keep clicking: they took over half of the possible offensive categories in that same time. "It's time these pitchers got their act together and started pitching like they give a damn," Joey Batista told reporters after their 8-1 blow out loss to Tokyo. GM Dave Femino isn't the type of take this type of drama laying down has he's proven back in 2014 when he traded away Robinson Cano after he reportedly insulted the team bat boy who happened to be Femino's cousin's neighbor. "A spark may need to be lit," an anonymous source from inside the organization told beat reporter Stephen Eh Smith. (yes, Stephen Eh is a beat reporter now too. You got a problem with that?!). Rumors are now swirling that San Juan might make a quick move to make a point and it may involve a big name like Chapman, or a young piece like Vince Velasquez (SP). Joey Bats may also get the boot finally, as he's become the biggest voice of frustration from the line up, which isn't helping overall morale. Long term, look for San Juan to be buyers as they dangle prospect Rafeal Devers and MiDP's to the few sellers in the league (SD, LV, SFV, QC) for some pitching help that will push their rotation where it needs to be. (First reported by yours truly Stephen Eh Smith of Wherever He Damn Well Feels Like!)

Bridgewater Weasels

Up and coming team out of nowhere one week, back in their parents' basement the next. The Weasels are a few more Daniel Murphy-for-Aaron Judge trades away from making the long term jump. Their most obvious trade piece worth a damn is elder statesman Fernando Rodney (RP), whom Bridgewater would be smart to shop now while he's on a nice little streak. It would make a nice reunion with the Rockets if they are serious about getting some bullpen help in Rakeville. Plus Bridgewater already has his heir-apparent in Archie Bradley waiting in the wings. Beyond that the Weasels are pretty bare in most other areas and are expected to hold onto all their MiPicks this. There's always the possibility they decide to sell high on someone like Justin Smoak (1B). Staying with the theme, fans are expecting Weymouth to go all in and make the same trade with Bridgewater this year as they did last year. So, expect a Justin Smoak/Fernando Rodney combo headed to Weymouth, in return for Cody Bellinger and 3 1st round picks. (First reported by Aaron Judge. He does everything for this team.)


Jim Fierkes is the founder and sole writer of www.EHCCTrehdeRumors.com. In his spare time he likes working on a VW van that sits in his neighbor's back yard under the light of the moon, unbeknownst to them.

Read more!

Powers' Rankings: Week 10

The Hispanics do the job no one else was willing to do. Robots are close to taking over the West. Tom Brady and company ride the dongs to the record books. Find out more by clicking below...

Powers' Rankinsg: Week 10
By: Max Powers

-->

Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
1	1	2	Weymouth Shaddupu 8-1-0		So they're not invincible. I'm sure they'd rather lose a matchup midway through the season rather than midway through the playoffs. Still the team to beat. Week 10 Match Up: Santo Domingo
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
2	4	10	Tijuana Hispanics 5-2-2		Taking down the giant is a good way to get yourself noticed. Even with the big win they only sit half a game on top of the west over....Tokyo? Week 10 Match Up: Bridgewater
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
3	3	1	Dublin Snake Chasers 4-2-3		Squeaking out a win in Bridgewater is looking like par for the course for the Snake Chasers. They stand pat in the rankings as teams around them move up/down, same as the standings. Week 10 Match Up: San Juan
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
4	2	3	San Juan Guerites 4-4-1		Don't look now, but the Guerites have only won one match up in the past 6 weeks, and that was to a still beat up Rio squad. Week 10 Match Up: Dublin
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
5	6	7	Rio de Janeiro Cristos 3-3-3		Dong goes the dynamite. That's what all the kids these days are saying in Rio. Poor Doggs never knew what hit 'em. New weekly records in Runs, RBI, and HR carried the Cristos to an easy victory. Week 10 Match Up: San Fernando Valley
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
6	7	9	Tokyo Omyoujis 5-3-1		They haven't lost since Week 4 and all of a sudden they sit just a half game back of the top of the West. Up is down, black is white, we're eating with our ears and smelling with our toes. Ok, too much. You get the point. Week 10 Match Up: Las Vegas
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
7	5	5	Las Vegas Doggs 3-4-2		Doggs' got the first taste of a healthier Cristos squad and suffered dearly for it. They almost squandered extra points with a misguided Martin Perez signing. Just poor management on the part of Mr. Scorpio. Week 10 Match Up: Tokyo
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
8	8	4	Quebec City Piglets 3-4-2		Don't look now, but Quebec City is back...oh, wait, no they just played the Jets. False alarm. Week 10 Match Up: Rakeville
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
9	9	6	Santo Domingo All-Star Factory 3-6-0		They aren't a bad team...I swear. They just keep finding ways to lose to bad teams. The only team to lose to San Fernando and now they lose to Rakeville? That's 3 losses in their last 4 match ups. Week 10 Match Up: Weymouth
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes

-->

10	11	7	Rakeville Rockets 4-4-1		Their blow out loss to Tokyo isn't seeming so bad now. They've won 3 of their last 4, including a Caribbean sweep. That's good enough to move 'em up a spot for now. Week 10 Match Up: Quebec City
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
11	10	11	Bridgewater Weasels 3-5-1		But they were supposed to be contenders! All the pundits said so. #fakenews Week 10 Match Up: Tijuana
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes
12	12	12	San Fernando Valley Jets 1-8-0		Over/Under on when San Fernando clinches the top 2018 MaDP is now Week 18. Leave your bets in the comments. Week 10 Match Up: Rio de Janeiro
Current Rank	Last Week	Pre Season	Team		Notes

Read more!