QC Freeze Press: 'Josh Has A Problem'

Quebec City Piglets second baseman Josh Barfield (left, clearly stoned) has been having a horrible season and was recently released by the Piglets. But is there more to this story than meets the snout?


'Josh has a Problem'
by Alexander Alejandro Marquez, Quebec Freeze Press

Thursday was a tumultuous day in and around the offices of the Quebec City Piglets. As the team fights to extend its season, numerous rumors have been popping up regarding one of the team’s once-shining stars, second baseman Josh Barfield. Reports started pouring in on Wednesday evening that Piglet GM Pat Renaud was agonizing over whether or not to follow the suggestion of Piglet Manager Brian Fantana to cut Barfield over allegations of drug use.
Barfield, a former 2nd round draft pick in the inaugural EHCC minor league draft, had had such whispers grow to a dull roar in the Piglet locker room in recent weeks, eventually leading to Luis Castillo making a second go-round in a Piglet uniform after a failed stint two years ago. Castillo’s signing and Barfield’s continued poor performance left Fantana no other choice but to let Barfield rot on the bench amidst a tight Division title race, as well as a battle for a playoff spot.
“Josh just wasn’t getting it done,” Fantana was quoted as saying this morning. “The bottom line is, we need guys who are going to perform here, and we can’t have guys just going out there and putting up oh for fours every goddanged night.” When asked about rumors of drug abuse by Barfield, Fantana responded with a terse “no comment.”
Pat Renaud was a bit more forthcoming. “Josh has a problem,” the long-time Piglets architect said. “We needed to look out for Josh’s best interests as well as the team’s. Josh needs help that he just can’t get inside a clubhouse night in and night out, especially in the middle of a pennant race. We still plan to stay in close contact with Josh and get him the help he needs. We’re even paying for his treatment, despite the fact that he’s no longer on the active payroll. We care about Josh and we want him to get better. When that time comes, he’ll be welcomed back to the clubhouse with open arms.”
But what if that time doesn’t come? Barfield’s problems seem to stretch far beyond those of normal baseball maladies. While Renaud wouldn’t address the problem specifically, saying “These matters need to be handled delicately, and we’d like to respect Josh’s privacy in his time of need,” it’s clear that Barfield’s problems go beyond his anemic .243 batting average and paltry 3 homeruns. A new batting stance doesn’t sound like the solution.
“Josh has an addiction,” one anonymous member of the clubhouse staff was quoted as saying. “The man loves Cheese Doodles. Loves ‘em. He can’t stop eating them. Sometimes, when the rest of the team is taking batting practice, Josh would be in the clubhouse crushing up cheesy puffs and straightening them into lines with a razor before snorting them up and then rubbing the excess on his teeth. You could always tell what he was up to, because he’d have a little orange trail on his nose and teeth. He didn’t think anyone noticed though. It was embarrassing for him. It was embarrassing for everyone.”
Eventually, Barfield’s problem extended onto the field. “Yeah, I saw him shoving a doodle up his nose in the field one time,” a Piglet who wished to remain anonymous was quoted as saying. “Andrew [Miller] was meeting with Russ [Martin] on the mound, discussing the next pitch, and, I don’t know, I guess he thought no one was looking or something, because he did it right out in the open, you know? Just shoved it up his nose and snorted like there was no tomorrow.” The problem has upset many in the Piglet locker room, forcing the issue to come to a head with Fantana’s suggestion that Renaud make the problem disappear from the clubhouse.
“We’re out there busting our asses every goddamned night,” said one Piglets player. “I mean, look at these guys. [Justin] Morneau broke his damn nose and was back the next day. Martin never misses a game, and he’s the friggin’ catcher! You’re telling me these guys who bust their ass every night for this team need to put up with this guy’s crap? That’s ridiculous. I’ll take Luis any day. At least he hustles.”
While the players seem to have made up their mind on the situation, Renaud is more open.
“Josh is our guy. He’s always been our guy, he’ll always be our guy. We want him to take care of this problem, confront it head on, defeat it like the champion he is, and come back to the team with a renewed confidence.”
That however, might not be possible. As EHCC rules prohibit using a disabled list spot for drug addictions, Renaud was forced to cut Barfield outright, even while the team cares for his medical bills during his absence. Technically, this means that any other team can swoop in and claim Barfield for their own. Many overtures have already been made to Barfield, with one division rival even claiming him for their own last year before he’d played an inning with the Piglets. While his putrid season and personal problems will be off-putting for some, others are already licking their chops to gain a piece of the damaged goods.
“I can’t wait for his waiver period to end,” claimed one rival GM. “He’ll look awfully nice alongside some of our other failed Piglet prospects. We’ve made a nice little living out of snatching the players they’ve dropped.” When asked about Barfield’s purported drug problem, the GM scoffed. “We’ve got plenty of cheese doodles in the clubhouse. I think he’ll be quite happy here.”
When these comments were relayed to Renaud, he was understandably upset and disappointed. With a heavy sigh, he said, “You’d hope it wouldn’t come to that, but some people in this league…well, they don’t have morals. To not only claim Josh away from us, but to encourage and exploit a problem for personal gain? That’s sub-human. I’d hope that’s just talk and not an actual course of action. It’s despicable to think someone would take advantage of both Josh and our organization when all we’re trying to do is get him the help he needs. It’s sad.”
And with that, Renaud ended the interview.
Where Barfield will end up is anybody’s guess. Both the Piglet fans and front office are hoping for a full recovery and return to Piglet Royal Blue, but with the dearth of quality second basemen in the league, it’s quite possible some scumbag will swoop in and ruin Barfield’s career—and, quite possibly, life—before our very eyes. Only time will tell. Until then, everyone here at the Quebec Freeze Press wishes Josh the very best, and a speedy recovery.

Alexander Alejandro Marquez is the Piglet Beat Writer for the QC Freeze Press. He once urinated on tobacco field because, “I hate those damn green monsters. Plus, I was drunk and had to pee wicked bad.”

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Quebec Freeze Press: Cooked Canadian Bacon?

Halfway through the season, the Quebec City Piglets have struggled to a sub .500 record and 9th place in the EHCC. After once again being viewed as an early favorite to contend for the title, the Piglets are off to their worst start in franchise history. Is there hope for the 2007 season?

Cooked Canadian Bacon?
By Alexander Marquez Alejandro, Quebec Freeze Press

Are the Piglets cursed? Brian Fantana leans back in his seat and smiles a wry, bemused smile while he ponders the question. "You know," he says slowly. "When I first got here, I heard all the cursed nonsense, and I laughed it off. They'd had some tough times, sure, some disappointing finishes, I guess so, but that's nothing you can't overcome. Now?" He pauses, letting it hang in the air. "I'm not sure."

It's been a tough season for the Piglets so far. On the heels of last year's surprise playoff run, the Piglets made some high-profile moves to capitalize on their sudden window of opportunity. However, so far anyway, these moves have failed to make a positive impact, and the Piglets find themselves among the dregs of the EHCC.

"I can't explain it," said long-time Piglet GM Pat Renaud. "You want answers? I don't have any. As far as I could tell, every single move we made this off-season was the right one. If I could go back and do it all again, I wouldn't change anything. But, for one reason or another, it just hasn't worked out like we hoped." Talk about an understatement. Despite the acquisitions of power bats like Vladimir Guerrero and Justin Morneau, the Piglets have sputtered in the first half of the season. The Piglets have found themselves in the middle of the pack in every offensive category save RBIs, and the once-vaunted pitching staff has fallen to pieces, as only Jake Peavy has emerged as a reliable ace for the Hogs of the North.

It's been a long second season at the reigns for Fantana, who has found that the role of the favorite can be much harder than the underdog. "Last year, as you know, was a rebuilding year. No expectations, just a bunch of kicking ass and taking names. This year..." Fantana trails off, looking towards the ceiling and stroking his sweet stache. "This year has been different. Teams are gunning for us hard. Look at last week," Fantana says, referring to the team's 6-4 loss to Tokyo. "Those losers hadn't won a game in something like 2 full years. And they beat us. And you know what the worst part is? They're better than us," Fantana says sipping some scotch. "They're better than us." When it was pointed out that the times are changing, and Japanese baseball teams can do stuff now, Fantana appeared to not be paying attention, and pointed out he didn't speak Japanese.

With the seemingly good moves Renaud made in the off-season working out disasterously for the Swines East of Saskatchewan, some have wondered if the team will become sellers at the deadline. While only weeks ago it seemed that the Piglets would make a deal to improve the pitching and climb back into contention, last week's disaster combined with the emergence of super-prospects Justin Upton and Cameron Maybin in the minors, some have started to call for a complete facelift for the franchise--which could include moving fan favorites Vlad Guerrero and Carlos Beltran.

"We've certainly had inquiries," Renaud said responding to the rumors. "I can't say we'll make a move at this time. But as the season goes on, and the disappointments continue, I can't rule anything out."

This year is already eerily reminiscient of the failed 2005 campaign, after which Renaud famously blew up the team after a lackluster campaign that ended in a 1st round playoff exit--again. Whispers of a curse still seem to haunt many in the Piglet clubhouse, who can't come up with an answer to why the team sucks so badly--again. Are the Piglets cursed? That's not for this reporter to decide. But if pressed, I'd have to say yes. Definitely. Plus, they suck. So that's a tough double whammy.

Alexander Marquez Alejandro is a the beat writer for the Quebec Freeze Press. He is a mouse that used to live in Pat Renaud's kitchen, but moved out because he was sick of eating ramen.

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