Zack Attack?

The Piglets are reeling for the second year in a row -- can Manager Zack Morris convince GM Pat Renaud to stop the bleeding? Quebec City -- Piglets Manager Zack Morris leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh as he ran his hands through his thinning, but still spectacular blonde hair. It's been 3 years since he took over for the deposed Brian Fantana, to that point the only manager the Piglets had ever known. Morris had been brought in to push the 'Always a Bridesmaid' Piglets over the top, and he didn't disappoint, winning the franchise's first EHCC championship in his first season. Since then, however, things haven't gone as planned. Expected to be the top team again last year, the Piglets stumbled out of the gate due to injuries and unexpectedly poor performances from key contributors, and never really recovered, missing the playoffs for the first time since the franchise moved North over a decade ago. The team has struggled again this season, combining some impressive victories over contenders with multiple blowout losses. As of press time, they were out of the playoff picture for potentially the second straight year. "It's tough," Morris sighed. "We had some bad luck last year, with guys like Longo [3rd Baseman Evan Longoria] banged up for most of the year, and guys like Timmy [Lincecum] and [1st baseman Albert] Pujols struggling for parts of the year. I think we still could've made a run, but it was taken out of my hands." Morris is referring to long-time Piglets GM Pat Renaud's trade of multiple star veterans, such as Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey, and long-time Piglet contributors Ryan Dempster and Jonathon Niese, among others. When asked about the gutting of a championship club, Renaud shrugged. "In for a loonie, in for a toonie. If we're going to rebuild, there's no sense in doing it half-assed. Could we have held onto all those guys and maybe made the playoffs? Yeah, maybe. But we got off to an abysmal start, and then got an offer we couldn't refuse for Dickey. Would it really have been worth it to try and hang on to make the playoffs if, in all likelihood, we weren't winning a title? I don't think so." Renaud continued, "Winning a championship was amazing, but it took a lot of bullets to load that gun. And we basically emptied it. The cupboard was dry," he said, referring to the team's barren minor league system. "And it if your veterans aren't going to perform, and there is no help on the way, you're in trouble. By punting last year and potentially this year, we're reloading with assets. Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't, but finally getting that ring gives us the freedom to try and start again." When his comments were relayed to Morris, he rolled his eyes, looked away, and then turned back and smiled with a glint in his eye. "Time out," he shouted, holding his hands up in 'T' formation. He then proceeded to turn away from me and explain a convoluted, ridiculous plan to get Renaud to go all in for this season to an unseen person he apparently thought was there. I cleared my throat a few times, and called his name, but he was completely oblivious to the fact that I wasn't frozen in place. It was pretty weird, actually. When he finally turned back, he said, "I have a feeling Belding will come around." When I asked if he meant Renaud when he said Belding, he said, "Uh, yeah. Him too." So where does that leave the fans of Canada? The GM and Manager aren't seeing eye-to-eye, the team has some exciting young talent in the system, but has floundered on the field, and it looks like it might be another lost season for a city used to winning. Only time will tell what happens, but one thing is for sure--Zack Morris should seek help. Seriously.