EhP: Peoria Cardinals Hire Pitching Coach

Danny Graves takes the reigns as the Cardnals first pitching coach.



Peoria, Ill (EHP) -- Word came down tonight, the Peoria Cardinals have hired their first pitching coach in franchise history.

Former all-star closer, Danny Graves, has surfaced out of obscurity to claim the position as Pitching Coach. This season has seen the Cardinals continue to retool this staff. "With fresh faces allows for fresh starts", proclaimed GM Dave Grubb, the man responsible for this questionable hire.

Graves has rarely been heard from since flashing an obscene gesture to his home fans during a game in Cincinnati in 2005. The Peoria front office hopes that his experience with throwing the bird will allow for an immediate impact on getting these young birds to throw the ball a little better. The Cardinals currently have only one member of their entire pitching staff over the age of 30. With pitchers this young it will be vital for Graves to teach them exactly why his career fell apart abruptly, and to keep them from doing the same.

"I'm pumped", proclaimed Cardinals ace Cole Hamels. "It's not everyday that you find somebody with the same love for mullets as I do! What a good lookin' fella." Fans can only hope that this fashion sense does not spread throughout the locker room. Things have been ugly enough on the field this season in Peoria.

Terms were not disclosed.