Christmas Wish List

San Diego Chronicle: Santa Clause loves baseball, but if EHCC GMs want anything for Christmas, they'll have to fend for themselves. We take a quick look at what each team hopes to find under their tree this year.






by Skip Clifton, San Diego Chronicle



‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the internet
Not a GM was stirring, not even a Piglet
The trade block was hung on the message board with care
In hopes that an offer would soon be there

The owners were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of championships danced in their heads
And Editor in his office, and I in mine
Had been racking our brains over a midnight deadline

When out of my head there arose such a thought
I’d write about Christmas, and what people sought
So here is a list, all written in glee
Of what ‘07 teams will hope to see:


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Santo Domingo, Arlington, Myrtle Beach - An EHCC Franchise
The three remaining candidates have been busy trying to keep up with the Expansion Committee's harsh demands of them. Q&A sessions, questionnaires, blood samples, you name it. If the EC says jump, these three say "OK". Only two of them will be getting an EHCC bid this year, while the third will have to settle for coal.


Bridgewater - Younger Pitching
Nine out of sixteen players on the pitching staff is 30 or older, and two more will be passing that mark in 2007. Mike Mussina (38), Trevor Hoffman (39), and Tim Wakefield (40) still have a little left, but are ready to be put out to pasture. The Weasels’ offense carried them last year, but it was their pitching staff that got them to the finals in 2005. For a repeat performance, GM Nastra Diggus will need some solid young arms to pull his championship sleigh.


Golden - Less Yankees
It's no secret that the Gryphons have been shopping Derek Jeter to the rest of the league. The 32-year old shortstop (who should have won the AL MVP last year) should bring in a quality return. Johnny Damon (33) and Jason Giambi (35) also had outstanding years, helping the team to the championships in only their second year. Golden hopes to come out of this Yankee Swap with something to help him in the future.


Las Vegas - Roger Clemens
The Doggs had an outstanding 2006, leading the league in five out of ten categories (offensive AND defensive) and winning their second title in three years, so management has decided not to be greedy. All they really need to compete this year is one more solid pitcher, and he just happens to already be on his roster. Clemens is not the long-term solution, but having The Rocket in orange and black will all but solidify another championship in 2007.


Peoria - A Time Machine
“Wouldn’t it be great if it were 5 years from now?” That’s what GM Dave Grubb is thinking right now. The Cardinals took the Tokyo route, scouting the minor leagues and building young, in hopes to be a legit contender down the road. Thus far their plan has worked, and guys like Robinson Cano, Brandon Phillips, Michael Jacobs, Ryan Zimmerman, Jon Papelbon, and Cole Hamels have already begun to show signs of life. If Matt Kemp and Ian Kinsler can become the stars they’re expected to be, it’ll be a Holly, Jolly Christmas for Peoria in 2010.


Quebec City Piglets - A Time Machine
“Wouldn’t it be great if it were 1 year ago?” In 2006, the Piglets began to rebuild for the future, and the team finished well above expectations with a playoff birth and a 4th place finish. But even with an outstanding pitching staff that will surely dominate for many years to come, we can only imagine how productive they would have been if they had not traded guys like Jim Thome (42HR, 109R, 108RBI), Andruw Jones (41HR, 107R, 129RBI), Brian McCann (.333, 24HR, 93RBI), Josh Willingham (26HR, 74RBI), Jason Schmidt (3.59, 11W, 180K), and Akinori Otsuka (2.11, 32SV). And heck, with all that young talent, QC could use the time machine to go into the future, where his team will surely be winning more championships than they can count.


Rakeville - Pedro Martinez
Rockets fans, as well as management, would love nothing more than to see their franchise player 100% in 2007. Unfortunately, while rehab from shoulder surgery has been going better than anticipated, the 35 year old isn’t expected to be ready until at least June. The Rockets luckily have plenty of insurance options, including Josh Beckett, Roy Oswalt, AJ Burnett, Felix Hernandez, and Bronson Arroyo. Pedro Clause won’t be coming to town this year, but luckily for Rakeville, there are plenty of elves to pick up the slack.


Tijuana - A Minor League Team
In the two year life of the ESSEC, Tijuana has made just 2 minor league draft picks (Brian Dallimore, Dan Haren). There’s no question that this has hurt the team’s chances down the road. In the past year, management finally realized their mistake and began rectifying the situation, trading for guys like Matt Murton (25 years old), Jered Weaver (24), Edwin Encarnacion (23), Jon Lester (22), and claiming Jason Hirsh (24) off of waivers. The Hispanics have been publicly shopping their Minor 1st Round draft pick, but if they hope to have any kind of success in the future, they’d better hold onto it.


Tokyo - Daisuke Matsuzaka
When the Omyoujis were applying to the EHCC prior to the 2005 season, the league asked GM Enkidu Ishtar what his team’s goal was. He announced their plan to take advantage of an untapped Japanese market. However, they have yet to accomplish this goal, having never possessed any player of Asian descent since entering the league. If they can somehow get a hold of Matsuzaka, whether by trade or draft, the promotional (not to mention statistical) rewards for Tokyo would be phenominal.


Weymouth - A New Yacht
The Shaddupu roster is nearly flawless from top to bottom. Middle-aged batters who crush the ball, young pitchers who strike people out, and solid closers who get just enough saves to keep them close. Only bad luck and a few off-weeks kept the Boys of the Water away from their unprecedented 5th championship in 6 years, but expect them to be right back at the top of the league in 2007. Because of that, GM Yukon Cornelius wants nothing more than a nice boat to get him to and from work.


Winston-Salem - Mediocrity
Since entering the league prior to the 2004 season, the Green Monsters have finished 6th or 7th, and that’s perfectly fine with them. Michael Rotch has made exactly 1 trade during his tenure as General Manager, and always gives the same answer to anyone inquiring about his players. “I like my team the way it is,” he’ll say with a smile, and go on his merry way. Even with 2006 EHCC ROTY Francisco Liriano, expect Winston-Salem to get exactly what they want in their stocking this year: A mediocre 2007 finish.


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Cringle won’t be here to help you this year
Seek help from another GM without fear
But don’t worry much, the season’s far away
Lots of time to see who will go or stay

Those are the wishes of the EHCC
And maybe a few things that I could not see
So good luck to you all, as I leave out of sight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!






Skip Clifton writes for the San Diego Chronicle. He is in no way religious, yet claims his favorite song is "Jesus Was Way Cool" by King Missile.