Rakeville Times: Upton-o good?

Rakeville opens Spring Training in Pensacola today and B.J. Upton has brought a shot of energy to the Rockets camp, but will Cock Gate, veteran cuts and manager Tom Seaver get in the way of another successful season?

Upton-o Good?
By Hernandez Firstname, Rakeville Times

The players arriving at the Rockets Spring Training home in Pensacola, Fla., couldn’t be more excited about the upcoming season. Despite a heartbreaking loss in the Semi-finals last season, the loss of their manager, and the scandal surrounding their Hall of Fame leader, Rakeville’s elite are embracing this spring as a rebirth.

“It took all of us a long time to get over last season,” said Javier Vazquez. “It hit everyone hard. This is one of the few times where the distractions have actually helped us.”

New Rakeville manager Tom Seaver held a close-door meeting with the players earlier today, laying out his plans for the spring and his goals for the upcoming season.

“These boys have done a lot in the EHCC,” said Seaver, “but we all know what is expected of us. We need to win a championship. It is politically correct to say we just need to win the next game, or we are just looking to be competitive, but that is all horseshit. We need a ring and we need it this year.”

Seaver’s straightforward approach with the media was why General Manager Jack Reed hired him. On the first day of camp, Seaver held few punches talking about his ace and his off-season escapades.

“This ‘Cock Gate’ thing is foolish,” said Seaver. “Is cock fighting any worse than Irish fighting? I think not. It doesn’t matter what you throw in the ring, as long as you still have your fastball the next day. I told Pedro he had nothing to worry about from us, as long as he doesn’t throw Phil Hughes into a ring anytime soon.”

Seaver also confirmed Pedro will be the honorary referee during his off days this season, presiding over grown men dressed in chicken suits fighting on the Reed Field infield. The Rockets events staff is dubbing the between-inning spectacle as Pedro’s Proving Ground. Winners will go on to fight again, with the winner of the 64-man tournament earning season tickets next year.

In other, more baseball related matters, Seaver has some tough decisions to make this offseason. The acquisition of young superstar B.J. Upton has made for a very crowed outfield, and some long-time Rockets may be on the chopping block come March 9th.

“Having a player like B.J. in camp this season has made a lot of us very excited,” said second baseman Chase Utley. “I don’t think we’ve ever had such a talent group of players in camp. There is a good chance we are going to be cutting 2 or 3 first round picks in this years draft.”

While three top picks may be a stretch, Rakeville will be forced to trim one of the most complete teams in the league.

“I have no idea who I plan to let go,” said Seaver. “Ask me that after they play a few games, idiot.”

In other Spring Training news, Omar Quintanilla reported to camp a day early. He may not get a lot of playing time over the next three weeks, but the team is working on signing him as a spring training coach, allowing him to say with the club past the 20-man roster deadline.

The Rockets are scheduled to play Rakeville University, Stackerville Flames, Weymouth, Arlington and Peoria this spring.

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